As we transition from Cheshvan into Kislev in the Jewish calendar, we experience a profound shift in energy that mirrors the ebb and flow of our lives. Cheshvan's introspective nature offered us a chance for reflection and rest, setting the stage for Kislev—a month overflowing with light, joy, and spiritual growth. With the festival of Chanukah at its core, Kislev prompts us to embrace renewal and celebration, even amidst challenging circumstances.
This year, however, the call for unity during the holiday season comes against a backdrop of significant societal division. Across the nation, media commentators and social media influencers have advised individuals to shun family members with differing political views, particularly during family gatherings like Thanksgiving.
The rise of “cancel culture” illustrates how easily we can discard relationships that once held great significance. We have been conditioned to glorify cutting off family members or friends over political or ideological disagreements. Notably, Dr. Jennifer Conti, a Yale psychology professor, has encouraged this trend, stating that engaging with politically opposing family members could lead to emotional distress and conflict.
Incredibly, those promoting such behaviors seem oblivious or indifferent to the long-lasting consequences of these decisions, where the momentary relief of choosing separation may lead to a profound emptiness and regret over lost connections.
In an age where divisive narratives dominate our social landscape, “canceling” loved ones and friends has emerged as the epitome of darkness. It becomes an insidious form of “avodah zarah” —idolatry—that diverts our attention from what is genuinely sacred and meaningful in our lives.
At the heart of Chanukah lies a profound message: a call to reject the cultural forces that seek to fragment our communities and destroy the fabric of familial bonds. The Maccabees fought not just against the oppressive edicts of the Greek Assyrians but for the reclamation of a way of life rooted in connection, love, and the values that truly matter.
Furthermore, Kislev invites us to reflect on healing and reconciliation, drawing parallels to the biblical story of Isaac and Rebecca, whose sons Esau and Jacob exemplified a deeply rooted familial rift. The favoritism shown by their parents catalyzed years of resentment and separation.
Yet, when Jacob returned, he sought reconciliation, humbly apologizing for his past misdeeds and offering gifts to his estranged brother. Their eventual embrace teaches us that healing is possible, even after long periods of discord.
With its association with light, Kislev calls us to reframe our narratives from conflict to connection. By engaging in intentional acts of humility, we can dismantle the barriers born of misunderstandings and heated exchanges.
The festival of Chanukah symbolizes the triumph of light over darkness. This holiday season presents the perfect opportunity to foster compassion, break the silence that alienation creates, and nurture relationships that reflect our shared humanity.
Family Dynamics: Reflect on how your family typically navigates conflict. What patterns emerge, and how can you discuss them to foster deeper understanding and healing?
Humility in Relationships: Recall a moment when your pride influenced your interactions. How might vulnerability reshape those dynamics, and what practical steps can you take moving forward?
Acts of Kindness: Identify three specific actions you can take to genuinely connect with a family member this month. Simple gestures—phone calls, handwritten notes—can begin to mend rifts that may have seemed insurmountable.
The Message of Healing: What would you express in a heartfelt letter to a family member if given the chance? How can you invite healing into your relationships?
Candles and Reflection: As you light the Chanukah candles, meditate on the contrasts between light and darkness, connection and estrangement. In what ways can the warmth of these candles inspire your interactions?
Visualizing Connection: Envision your family a decade from now, having nurtured and healed old wounds. What does that future look and feel like? Engaging with this vision can motivate actionable steps toward building that reality.
This season of Kislev implores us to prioritize connection over division and understanding over alienation. Let us seize the opportunity to forge a family dynamic embodying the spirit of togetherness, being mindful that unity and love are the true lights guiding us through the darkness.
Comments